Worry is a Lack of Confidence (AND an Energy Killer)

Corrie Ten Boom Worry Strength

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.
~ Corrie ten Boom (1892-1983)

I am often described as outgoing, boisterous, happy, and, yes, a bit obnoxiously perky (especially for those not as excited about the earlier hours). And those things (even the tendency towards the obnoxious) are true.

However, those who know me well will also tell you I also have a tendency to be anxious. My anxiety is sometimes warranted by actual causes for concern. More often, unfortunately, it is just a malfunction in the way I am wired; a reminder that I am, in fact, human and should remain gracious to all because we all have our challenges.

Having dealt with this for a really long time, I have gotten really good at talking myself down. I won’t bore you with the ins and outs of mindfulness based cognitive behavioral strategies or how diet and exercise really do matter. I will tell you that while it all works and I am very thankful for it, it is exhausting.

This is primarily the reason I am also know as an optimist. You will here me repeatedly say things like, “don’t borrow trouble,” “make one decision at a time,” “will will cross that bridge when we get there,” or, my favorite, “let’s step back and make sure we are looking at this right.”

Too often we create more worry by entertaining exaggerated worry over situations that actually require little if no worry at all. At which point we then proceed to escalate the situation. The situation needs attention. We worry. Worry makes us distracted, less focused, hesitant, and less capable to employ our abilities. This makes any situation worse. By the time we have worried all over it, we have created something to worry about!

Today I want to encourage you to focus on confidence. The number one reason for worry, insofar as I can tell, is lack of confidence in ones ability to handle whatever happens next. The future is the largest producer of anxiety. This is so unfortunate because the future holds so much hope and promise! The present is where our potential works and the future is the enjoyment of that success! To sabotage that and to steal that from ourselves is all we achieve when we worry. Our strength lives in certainty, assurance, and joy. That’s a much better basket of tricks than worry.

Turn Around Tuesday ~ Hal Borland ~ Patience and Persistence

Tuesday’s Thought

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.

~ Hal Borland (1900-1978)

A Bit of Encouragement… 

AnniversaryYesterday September 9th, The Dude and I celebrated our 14 year wedding anniversary. Wait! Don’t click away! I promise I will not get all sappy and spend our coffee telling you how enamored I still am or how wonderful he still is. I mean I could, but I won’t.

I will say that I realize that there have been folks married way longer than us. I also look forward to the day when we too can claim 40, 60, 75 years of martial bliss. But 14 years is still a long time for us.

14 years is still a long time. Period.

I thought a lot yesterday about how much we know about each other, how much better we are at communicating. I thought about the challenges we have overcome and how the experience of those challenges make all the possibilities of what comes next not quite so scary. I thought about our children, how blessed we are to have them, and how close we are to letting the first one go. I considered all the things about life and love that I know now because of the last 14 years.

And I realized that there was nothing on the planet I could have done to make that process of growth happen any faster. It took the time it took. And it will take another 365 days before I can tick it off again – regardless of how hard I work, may want it, or study it.

The truth is that, while there is a time for all of that “nose to the grindstone” stuff, sometimes it just takes the time it is going to take and you just have to trust the process. It was pointless to check out, give up, or rush it along. Making it to and through requires that you take it one step at a time for whatever time it takes.

And we got here. This time next year, we will have done it again.

Today I want to encourage you to question what has been called “the microwave mentality.” Life is not minute rice, challenges are not 60 minute drama series, and microwave popcorn may be quick, but it loses some of its greatness in the process. But you already know this. We see books, kits, or seminars created by folks who have figured a piece of life out and expect to have the results duplicated by the time we get to “The End.” We forget that there were years of working it out and pushing through to get there. The walk on the beach is beautiful not because it was made in record time, but because of the moments our feet were in the sand.

Thanks for the coffee!

Tuesday’s Person of Interest

Krysten Siba Bishop ~ The Misadventures of a Darwinian Fail

Turn Around Tuesday began in April 2007. It is an email delivered newsletter that is typically written on Tuesday morning (my husband says you can always tell how Monday went by how Tuesday reads!) and in subscribers’ email hopefully in time for their morning coffee!

I will post them here one week after they are sent out to the subscriber list. If you want to receive them in you inbox in real time, please click here

Turn Around Tuesday ~ Gretchen Rubin ~ Embrace What Is

Turn Around Tuesday began in April 2007. It is an email delivered newsletter that is typically written on Tuesday morning (my husband says you can always tell how Monday went by how Tuesday reads!) and in subscribers’ email by 6 or 7am. 

I will post them here one week after they are sent out to the subscriber list. If you want to receive them in you inbox in real time, please click here

Tuesday’s Thought

Embrace what is.

~from Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project

A Bit of Encouragement… 

Screenshot_2013-09-10-05-46-39-1The relaunch of Turn Around Tuesday has been met with mostly welcoming arms.

Yeah, mostly.

Not everybody was glad to see it. Interestingly enough, the ratio was clearly in TAT‘s favor. And I really meant it when I said that I too have had to unsubscribe from items like this in the past and I knew it was never personal.

I still took it personal.

TAT never fails to awaken something in me. What that something is may change, but it is usually a sense of longing to fulfill a grand purpose; to be all that I was intended and have the potential to be.

That awakening can be daunting.

I immediately default to all the reasons it will fail, why I am not good enough, how I am not capable, equipped, educated, bright, dedicated, young, attractive, wealthy, mobile, flexible, strong…How I am just not enough.

I look at everything that there is not. Everything that I am not. All the things I will never be and will always be not.

In that frame of heart, the slightest bit of, “yeah, that’s not for me” rocks me at my core.

Until I remember to embrace what is.

I am again reminded that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I have a perspective that, amazingly to me, you find interesting at least enough times to let me come back once a week. While what is said is not new, it is mine, and for my heart, and evidently many others, it feels anew. And that’s just as good.

Today I want to encourage you embrace what is. So many times we are wooed into doubt and despair because of the “not.” The fact is that what “is” tends to be so absolutely abundant that we could spend a lifetime exploring all the greatness. The “not” would never be missed if we weren’t actually looking for it. While I may not be fully prepared to do all the things my heart would have me do today, I am enough to move towards those things. What I can embrace is the opportunity to recognize the journey, enjoy the process, appreciate who I am while moving towards who I am becoming. And the truth is, we are all “becoming.”

Thanks for the coffee!

Tuesday’s Person of Interest

Molly Maher – Stratejoy

8V4FVK8CZ55Z

Turn Around Tuesday ~ Thomas Edison ~ Success, Failure, and Giving Up

Turn Around Tuesday began in April 2007. It is an email delivered newsletter that is typically written on Tuesday morning (my husband says you can always tell how Monday went by how Tuesday reads!) and in subscribers’ email by 6 or 7am. 

This is the first installment since January 2011. I will post them here one week after they are sent out to the subscriber list. If you want to receive them in you inbox in real time, please click here
Thomas Edison Success

Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
~Thomas Edison (1847-1931)

A Bit of Encouragement… 

I currently have Conway Twitty’s Hello Darlin’ playing in my head right now. It has been a long time. And it is nice to see you.

I struggled with putting TAT on hold nearly 2 years ago. It is something that I love to do. Graciously, those whose inbox receive it seem to enjoy it as well.

In all honesty, I struggled with bringing it back. You may have noticed a bit of that in the email you received a few days ago. I was completely prepared to give TAT a complete overhaul – even down to when it was sent out.

The response was fairly overwhelming. So, as you can see, aside from the face lift, TAT is still pretty much the same. And I am filled with gratitude.

Ideas like “failure” and “give up” are pretty interesting to noodle over.

In July, I DNF’d (did not finish) a race. You can read more about that here

I did give up. And, while I justified it in the physical, it was my spirit that failed.

During that same race there were others who wanted to give up as they were physically shot. But their spirit held on and they finished. My spirit is pretty strong too…I was pretty close to finishing…until I just quit.

I learned a lot from them and about myself. I like to think that if I learn anything then the failure has been redeemed. The only true failure is quitting, giving up, and refusing to glean any lesson from it.

Success is also an idea that has to be addressed on a regular basis as there is no dictionary passage that does it justice. What success is, what it looks like, not only differs from person to person, but across situation, point in time, and perspective.  Understanding its dynamic nature cannot be overlooked.

For me, “success” is nearly synonymous with “purpose”. My purpose in my runs is to be better than I was before. Therefore, even when I don’t perform as well I can, the purpose is still achieved and there is the success.

Today I want you to recognize purpose in the things that are important to you but currently feel unproductive, hard, or  just no longer viable. If they are truly purposeless, then let them go (heck, maybe you just need a break!) But give the  ideas of success, failure, and giving up some real consideration. It is very possible that we really are just that close.

Thanks for the coffee!

Sunday Set Up, Going Big, and “Turn Around Tuesday”

My MySpace Profile Picture. Seriously.

So I bought a book…and it is a good one. And I debated whether or not to even share it with you. Not because of you, but more because of me. The title is very, very telling. And sometimes being very telling is a bit scary. But I jump ahead of myself. Let me do this in order and I will be as quick as I can…

I started blogging on MySpace. Yes, MySpace. Then on April 3, 2007, I started a little newsletter called “Turn Around Tuesday.” Later that same year, I converted aprilgroves.com from a static, then traditional site, to WordPress. (Don’t bother going there….it will just bring you back here.)

I love to write.

I also love to pay the bills.

But don’t get worried and fly away. I am not morphing all our conversations in “ShamWow” dailies. Stay with me.

In July 2007, I moved the little newsletter to Constant Contact. One of the best decisions I ever made, by the way. Here is the text from that Turn Around Tuesday.

“The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is”
– John Lancaster Spalding
Bishop (1840-1916)

Transparency. In today’s world, this item is becoming more and more important. With the soaring popularity of Web 2.0 interactions such as MySpace, Facebook, and LinkedIn, it is possible for people to become whom ever they choose – and we would be none the wiser.

It can be tempting to assume a persona that is not truly our own. Many times, we feel under equipped, over shadowed, and unappreciated. In order to move around these feelings, our voice becomes unauthentic.

However, this manner of practice seldom works and never lasts long. The good news is, you don’t need it all. Your family, friends, associates, and clients deal with you because they trust and depend on you. This is a huge responsibility and requires dedication and hard work. Don’t make it harder by attempting to upkeep a facade.

The uniqueness of ourselves is the thing that makes us wonderful. The display of that is a step on the road to greatness!

41AX4HYVGOL._SY346_PJlook-inside-v2,TopRight,1,0_SH20_I still believe that. So I am telling you about the book I bought.

As many of you know, I have a day job that I love. I also moonlight as a writer. I love that as well. I would like to do more of it. I am doing more of it. I hope you will hang out with me and let me know what you think.

So, back to the book. Create You Writer Platform by Chuck Sambuchino talks about leveraging blogs, networks, and your life to become a more successful writer. Even as long as I have been involved in writing and blogging, this book has me looking at it different.

So, we are going big and not even thinking about going home. But remember, no “ShamWow”. Seriously. And I need your help.

tumblr_m2qf8vUiqT1rttse6o1_400I am doing a few things…

  • Many of the product links will be affiliate. That will not change my honesty. If you think something I bought will work for you, please consider clicking through here.
  • I am hoping to guest blog on other sites and you will soon see some guests here. If there is somebody you would like to see in the TTSW feed, let me know!
  • I am relaunching Turn Around Tuesday. We will see how that fits into my current life. It may get a name and/or format change. Who knows? But your feedback is appreciated.
  • There is a giveaway this week!! Hoping to do more of those too!

And I am certain there is more stuff going on…but quite frankly, that is enough for this one thought. I need a long run now (but that will have to wait for my trip to the chiropractor!)

 

**PhotoCredit

BroTips
Diana Daley