I’m Bringing Sexy Back

I swear I think I have used this post title before…I think it had something to do with Lani…but I can’t remember. And, while Lani is indeed sexy (and fits everything about this post as well), let me tell you who else is sexy.

Rocky Turner is sexy. Angela Miller is sexy. Travis Robertson is sexy. Glad Doggett is sexy. Simcha Fisher is sexy. Brad Nix is sexy. Jessica Lebos is sexy. Lisa Leake is sexy. Jenny Rosenstrach is sexy…I could go on. In fact, in future posts, I will.

What is so sexy about these folks and tons of people just like them?

They are crazy, sexy, kind.

They know a lot of stuff – some of it fairly controversial in some circles. And they teach, share, and help – all while caring for the folks in their midst.

Does this sound easy to you? It isn’t. When you are filled with passion and you are witness to struggle, innovation, failure, hurt, success, choices…it is easy to bulge out your eyes, stick out your chest, point lots of fingers, and rage against what you see as the lesser way. It is easy, but it is not helpful, it isn’t kind, and it certainly isn’t sexy.

Kindness is sexy. Highlighting it has become my mission.

For reasons I am still fleshing out, the anger, frustration, cruelty, and general “if it bleeds, it leads” mentality of our current affairs has really disturbed my heart. This teaching by shaming, message by firing squad, and conversion of idea by beratement has me thinking back to an old Navy (and probably other organizations) saying, “The beatings will continue until morale improves.” Yeah, that looks like it will work…

A chaotic good character favors change for a greater good, disdains organizations that get in the way of improvement, and places a high value on personal freedom, not only for oneself, but for others as well.
~ Brad Nix

When the disturbance of my heart over all the meanness first started, I reacted the way most people would – I got angry with the enraged and mean with the meanies – yeah, I am the poster child for effective :/. That didn’t last long because my heart couldn’t take it. Having that kind of emotion in me was exhaustingly soul killing – seriously, I don’t know how some of those folks do it. So, for a minute, I did nothing – worse, I gave up on the idea entirely and resigned the world of influence to the loud and obnoxious. Gracefully, I found another way.

My audience is small but purposeful. My voice is little but it is still heard. And when kindness is extended once, it has this uncanny ability to grow. I have faith in that. So I am gonna try it…besides, I think it is sexy…

*Feature Photo Credit Katerha

Consider the Alternative


We can’t solve problems by using
the same kind of thinking
we used when we created them.

~Albert Einstein


I would be lying if I said the government was not the first thing I thought of when I read today’s quote. However, now that I have been intellectually honest, I feel comfortable going on with my next two thoughts.

First, problems don’t “just happen.” They are, at all times, fully created by an outside source. Sometimes it is a third-party. Sometimes it is of our own doing. Sometimes, it is merely our perception of the situation. What ever way you slice it, “we” create them – there is no spontaneous occurrence of “problem”.

I hear you getting all anxious about this “blame” and “guilt”. Quit, seriously, quit. Unless you are a deviant of society, you are, in essence, a good person. Good people screw up, kinda the nature of being human. Good people can’t typically see into the future or know all variables. Therefore, despite your best efforts, things sometimes go a bit wacky. It’s ok. Good people can’t know the purpose of all things. Sometimes problems aren’t really problems – feel free to chew on that one for a while.

Second, insanity is (come on, you’ve heard this one – also by Al) doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. If your way of thinking is working – great! Keep doing that until it doesn’t. If it already doesn’t, then why are you still doing it?

We are dynamic individuals living in a dynamic environment. What was appropriate yesterday may be a bit different today. Our approach to challenges should be as nimble as we are. Moving, shaping, reworking – think telegraph vs. twitter. We can adapt and re-purpose.

Today, I encourage consider the alternative. What if it’s not a problem? What if it is really a problem or what if something in my thought pattern created it? I offer that it is what it is – now decide what you would prefer that it be. What thoughts move you towards that? If those thoughts have to get different, let’s get different. But let’s not get bogged down in complacency, guilt, fear or ego. If mediocre is normal, let’s be different. If a different perspective moves the train, it is worth a shot. Come on, if Einstein said it…

Featured Photo from Stefan Insam

Can, Have, Are

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
~ Theodore Roosevelt

First, indulge me a moment to use this platform to say “Happy Birthday” to the best Momma in the whole world. Yes, I am talking about mine. She is my best friend, my strongest shoulder and my greatest reason to believe that I will age beautifully. I know this small space of print is not much – but it is what I can, with what I have, where I am.

Next, let me announce excitedly that my Pops is going to cut his hair. Sounds like a small thing until I tell you he hasn’t cut it since 9/11. He swore he wouldn’t until they got bin Laden. 11 years later, he is taking to the scissors. Is it a huge deal? It is to me, but maybe not to some. But it was what he could, with what he had, where he was.

Most assuredly let me heap mounds of praise on our service men and women, SEAL Team 6 notably. There are various jobs within our armed forces. All are important, I’ll bet even the SEAL Team will tell you that they can’t do what they do without countless other ancillary folks doing what they do. More or less important? Nah, they just do what they can, with what they have, where they are.

I also appreciate my real estate, builder, business community. These folks, regardless of public opinion and economic woes, continually use their knowledge, resources and expertise to the highest and best use. They are on a mission to create better lives for their families while working with their clients to do the same. This is not always easy – for the business community or their clients. Pick up any newspaper and you will see that. But we all work together to do the best we can, with what we have, where we are.

Today, I encourage us all to assess what we can, with what we have, where we are. Events have a tendency to be over stimulating and inflated. We tend to become overwhelmed at our own self perceived smallness and inability. The truth is there is a better choice and opportunity for each of us. In and around each of us is the ability and resource to effectuate positive change. The event may be of such magnitude that it feeds villages, brings renewed peace and heals the sick. It may just bring a smile to my Momma’s face. I consider neither a small accomplishment. We do what we can, with what we have, where we are – and that is the instrument of greatness.

*Featured photo credit ~ Stephen Eastop
*Roosevelt Photo – Public domain

The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is.
~ John Lancaster Spaulding

Transparency. In today’s world, this item is becoming more and more important. With the soaring popularity of Web 2.0 interactions such as Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn, it is possible for people to become whom ever they choose – and we would be none the wiser.

It can be tempting to assume a persona that is not truly our own. Many times, we feel under equipped, over shadowed, and unappreciated. In order to move around these feelings, our voice becomes inauthentic.

However, this manner of practice seldom works and never lasts long. The good news is, you don’t need it all. Your family, friends, associates, and clients deal with you because they trust and depend on you. This is a huge responsibility and requires dedication and hard work. Don’t make it harder by attempting to upkeep a facade.

The uniqueness of ourselves is the thing that makes us wonderful. The display of that is a step on the road to greatness!

Feature Photo credit – lilieks