I had the incredible opportunity to hear Sandra Yancy, founder of eWomen Network, talk at one of our recent events. I can’t even begin to tell you how inspiring, motivating, uplifting, phenomenal (keep inserting great adjectives here) the whole thing was. She was funny, easy to listen to, unassuming and, most importantly, real.
She spoke of The Little Engine that Could. I’ll do a full post on that as soon as my copy gets here. That was an eye opener in itself.
She spoke of being almost broke. She talked about the perseverance it took to make it through.
She talked about the need for other people and the importance of relationships.
She is also of the opinion that “fake it ’til you make it” is utter crap.
Huh? Isn’t this the mantra that all self confident, newly emerging folks live by? Isn’t this the mind set that is required to exude confidence and be that person in the room that people want to know and be known by? How can this be wrong?
We have all heard it…fake it ’til you make it. You have the world by the tail and if you don’t the only person that needs to know that is you. Right?
No – how on earth are you going to get the support, mentorship and guidance you need if no one knows that you are going through hard times? You have to let people know when things are wrong so you can get the help you need to get it back on track. Right?
No – this, as in most things, has, in my opinion, a truth that lies somewhere in the middle. That “middle truth” happens to hand in hand with another truth I believe in – everyone needs a safe place to bleed.
It is true that some people
- want to know, associate with and do business with successful people.
- want to help and assist those who are falling on tough times.
- will eat the weak.
- nourish the poor.
Therefore, seems to me that application of this “fake it ’til you make it” idea is situational.
There are times when total confidence, even in the face of total defeat, is a necessity.
There are times when one must unload the weight, ask for help carrying it and collaborate for way to make it lighter.
The trick is differentiating between the occasions.
- Do you fall on one of the two sides or in the middle?
- How do you know when either approach is appropriate?
- Do you think the strategy changes depending on the size of the market or the makeup of the business community (i.e. working in New York City versus Small Town USA)