The Confessions of a (Relatively) Perfect Mom

I love being a mommy – it is truly one of my favorite things. My four daughters are a joy in my life and I wouldn’t trade them for a thing in the world. Ask them and they will tell you – I am the best mom in the world. In fact, I do consider myself the perfect mom.

***Begin playing sappy music***

McDonald’s is not a staple of our diet. We have family movie night. I am cautious of the movies they watch, clothes they wear, music they hear, and the friends they have.  We discuss values and citizenship. We see the dentist twice a year and the doctor for regular check ups. We discuss stranger safety. Chores are a must. School work is priority – even in the summer.

***Record playing sappy music scratches to a halt***

Let’s get real…I am a great mom, relatively.  While all the above statements are true, let me let you in on some more truths.

We rush in the morning to get to school on time. They probably watch too much TV.  The kitchen isn’t always clean. I don’t read to them for 30 minutes every night. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. They brush their teeth at least once a day, but definitely not after every meal. There is always laundry to be done. We don’t always eat together. I am ready for summer break to be over. Sometimes dinner comes out of a box. Their room is a mess and I am tired of fighting about it. I have made the mad dash to Wal-Mart to get supplies for a school project that is due the next day.

Why tell you all this? Because I believe I am not alone. I believe that there are a ton of mommies – probably most – out there who feel overwhelmed and under performed most of the time.  I believe that these moms (dads too?) carry around heavy guilt that makes the hardest job in the world even harder. I believe that we think we are the only ones dealing with these feelings and ask ourselves why we can’t have it “together” like the super mom who lives down the street (who, by the way, is probably thinking the same thing about you.)

I believe there are far too many of us asking ourselves, “What’s wrong with me?”

The answer – Nothing, except being human.

I believe our children deserve the very best we can give them. I don’t think that looks like perfection. I think it looks like unconditional love. Kids don’t care so much about “stuff” when they feel protected and cared for. Don’t believe me? Watch a kid’s face light up when they get the one present they wanted most.  Then watch his heartbreak when you won’t play with him. The toy means nothing without the love.

We spend so much time trying to be a perfect mom to the world and then feel like a failure when we can’t pull it off. Wouldn’t that time and energy be better spent on something you can do – like being the perfect mom to your kid?

Comments

  1. Ohh April. Been there – done that!

    Not enough time, to much to do 0 everyday!

  2. I know…I have resigned myself to prioritizing my to do list…because I already know the chance is fairly high that something’s not getting done.

  3. My mother-in-law commented that if she was raising her five kids today, she wouldn’t be able to do it the way she did it years ago. She feels that women today have so little time to “do it all” that we simply can’t.

  4. Karen, I think she’s right. I also think we should try to do it all…life is too short to worry about the dishes 🙂

  5. Awesome post, April. And man, do I recognize pretty much everything on your list. A more experienced parent friend of mine once told me:

    “The most important thing you can do for your kids is to show them that you love them every day; help them understand what’s right and wrong; and teach them why ‘integrity’ is so important. Then, just try to keep them in one piece until they move out of your house. “

  6. Ha! I love that last part…ain’t it the truth.

  7. really good post
    love that last part, too
    go on 😉

  8. Love it! (And the background music too) I can completely relate, especially to the rushed mornings and last minute school projects. I always feel guilty about those!

    • Amy, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Not only was it fun to write, but I have to agree that it is oh so true. I had a lot of fun on your hub page. I’m looking forward to reading more of your thoughts.

  9. Thanks I was feeling rather snarky that day love that last part, too
    go on

  10. Just saw this in passing… couldn’t resist as it was posted on June 15th – my bday…
    great post – I can completely relate.

    We all try and fail.. we question ourselves… our decisions… etc… we all picture that moment when our kid(s) are sitting on a couch for the “Oprah” show and asked the question – what was your childhood like.. we hope and pray that we get a good review..

    The issue for we type A moms should not be that we try and fail, for after all, failure can lead to amazing success… the focus should be whether or not we fail to try.

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